She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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