As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
