In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
there is glitter all over my balls
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