if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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