loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
