found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
