Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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