I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You're earring is so big in my mouth
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
