hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
