Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
