My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Randomize
