can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
