am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
