my mouth tastes like poor choices
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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