I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
