Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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