you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
id be glad to
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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