what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
