she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize