why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
