She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
