You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I understand Curling. That high.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
