This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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