need another drink. this is the easiest way
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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