margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
