How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
