Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Randomize
