i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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