My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
