He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
