Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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