Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
