going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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