3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
