I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
