"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize