Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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