You're a womanizer and a bitch.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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