i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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