My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
