I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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