We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
