no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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