Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
