What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
