So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
