I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
there is puke in my bra ... again
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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