i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
