I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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