somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
