I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
