My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
