just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
