Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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