After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
