If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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