he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
