:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
