i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
