Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
