YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
