That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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