Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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