just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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