Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i think my cat just said my name.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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