At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Randomize