Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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