I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
