My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
