he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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