David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
