If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
