Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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